In
our society, good manner is considered as one of the most important thing a
person should have. People with good manners tend to be more successful and are
more accepted by others. That is not a surprising thing, since everyone surely
wants to be treated nicely. For example, when we are in a completely new
environment and there is no one we know, it would be easier and more pleasant
to approach someone who is polite rather than someone whom is rude. However,
things are not always easy. We cannot just expect others to treat us nicely; we
should do the same to them, too. The rule is simple; treat other the way we
want to be treated. If we want to be respected, show respect, if we want others
to be treated nicely, then treat others nicely. Good manners can also be shown
by doing simple things, such us do a polite greetings, show a good table
manner, and choose unoffending words. That, however, is a bit more complicated
once we are not in our own country. We need to be more cautious, since one
harmless gesture such as a handshake, various hand gestures, and some basic
table manner could have a completely different meaning in other culture or
country.
Even
though handshake is the most common thing people do at a first meeting,
different countries have different opinion about it. In United States, England,
and in Indonesia, a strong handshake is admirable, because it shows confidence
and poise. On the contrary, in most of Eastern countries, particularly
Philippines, this kind of handshake is seen as an aggressive act, therefore
considered rude. Moreover, some Muslims will not shake hands with someone of
the opposite sex, especially those who are not their family. Other thing about
handshake is, while it is predominantly okay to offer the left hand for a hand
shake, it is regarded as rude in Indonesia and most Arab countries because
these countries believe that the left hand is unclean.
Various
hand gestures, such as making an OK sign and V (peace) sign, are other
ambiguous things to do when it comes to different culture. Although making an
Ok sign is deemed harmless and holds a meaning of agreement in most countries,
in Germany, Turkey, Greece and some South American countries, doing this
gesture can be misinterpreted as an insult and seen as vulgar, also indicating
that we call them homosexuals. Making a V sign is a normal thing and is
casually used in some countries like Japan and Korean to show peace, victory,
or simply as a signal of the number 2. However, in Australia, Ireland, New
Zealand, and Italy, a V sign is considered rude and offending, and if it was
done, it can cause a commotion.
Just
like handshakes and hand gestures, different countries also have varying table
manners. In countries like Indonesia, those who slurp their food and belch
after they finish eating appear to be ill-manner. Nevertheless, there are also
countries where belching and slurping are done as a sign of appreciation and to
show that we are enjoying the foods. Another peculiar table manner that is
different from our culture is that in China, Korea, and some other countries,
finishing your food or emptying your plate is not a good manner for the reason
that it signifies how the host does not provide enough food, and by doing this
they would continue to put more food into our plate. On the opposite, if someone
has some left over on his or her plate in countries like Indonesia and Japan,
the host would think that s/he did not enjoy the food, therefore making she or
he looks discourteous.
The
things that are stated above are examples of how different things can be seen
in different cultures. How things that are believed to be friendly gesture and
show good manner can be an offending thing to others. Same concept can be
applied to people. Every individual have their own definitions of how other
people should act in order to be seen as good mannered. Some people might think
that offering a handshake in the first meeting is being friendly when others
might think that it is impolite to touch someone we just meet. That is why we
need to pay more attention on how things work around us. Also, we need to be
more considerate to opinions and cultures that are different from ours. Just
like I mentioned it before, treat others the way we want to be treated. By
learning, or at least try to respect other culture and act accordingly, the
chance of other people to respect our beliefs and culture would be bigger.
References
http://www.languagetrainers.co.uk/blog/2007/09/24/top-10-hand-gestures/ (10/24/2013 – 10.27 PM)
http://travel.ninemsn.com.au/world/rudegestures/835248/innocent-gestures-that-mean-rude-things-abroad
(10/24/2013 - 10.27 PM)
http://www.cracked.com/article_16335_7-innocent-gestures-that-can-get-you-killed-overseas.html
(10/24/2013 - 10.20 PM)
http://www.annieandre.com/2012/03/world-table-manners-etiquette/
(10/24/2013 – 10.19 PM)
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